How Do You Wash Your Hair?
by hintcoin
Summary: Joshua feels a little flighty as he calls Neku, Shiki, Beat and Rhyme in for a serious discussion...if you wanna call it that. And the group learns something so horrible and so terrifying about the Bito family!


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Amaya's Note:  
I hope you can tell I was bored.

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All four of them sat in front of Joshua awkwardly silent. Mr. H quickly came up and served him the coffee he had ordered.

"Hello there," The Composer greeted them with a smile (he knew that they knew it was fake.) "Neku, Shiki, Beat, Rhyme." Joshua nodded his head to them as you said their name.

Rhyme was the first to break the hushed tone. "You're the Composer, right?"

"Yes, Miss Rhyme. That's right." He smiled ludicrously at them, although, even Beat could see right through him.

"Yo, why'd you call us, fo' real?"

One of his eyebrows had been raised towards Beat. "Well, Daisukenojo, whatever could you mean?" Joshua sarcastically sang. The skater recoiled from the Composer's sudden personal attack.

Shiki eyed her friend's despair and stepped in. "~~~~~, we barely know you and we're making useless small talk over coffee. Something's up so spill."

"Heh," He mused. Joshua laced his hands behind his head in such a lazily manner people would be surprised to hear that he had _no _relation to Kariya at all. "Can't slide anything past you can I?"

Suddenly, Joshua got serious and looked into each of their eyes. "How...do you..." The Composer trailed. The group (and despite his annoyance, Mr. H seemed to as well.) "How do you...wash your hair?" He asked.

Neku sweat dropped, Beat dropped his jaw, Rhyme smiled awkwardly and Mr. H dropped a cup. "Excuse me, what?" Shiki asked again.

"You heard me." He said, crossing your arms over your chest. "How do you wash your hair? Neku, why don't you go first?"

Neku shook his head, attempting to reject the offer, but the others urged him to go. They didn't want to go themselves anyways. "Well, I--uhh..." Neku scratched his head thinking. "I can't just massage the shampoo and conditioner into my hair 'cause then it'll get caught under my headphones when it dries and I put 'em on. So I guess I wash m hair like I'm putting my hair up in spikes."

Joshua cocked an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure you wanna use those hands?" He questioned him.

Neku widened his eyes and looked into his palms. "Y-yeah, why not?"

"Well, from what I heard, you masturbate quite often. I just can't seem to fathom why you wouldn't go to a salon to wash your hair with your dirty hands." The Composer passively said.

Neku's face flushed. "Wha--how'd you know?"

"Holy crap..." Joshua's face copied his fashion. "I can't believe you really do...oh my..." He laughed as Neku realized Joshua really didn't know how often he masturbated.

The Composer turned to Shiki, who seemed to be avoiding Neku's gaze and was quite jumpy. "Your turn, Miss Misaki."

Shiki looked wide-eyed and afraid of what to say. "I--uhh, I just massage the shampoo into my hair. When I have it all washed out, I comb the conditioner through so that it also gets untangled." The seamstresss gulped, waiting for your attack.

"Well, Shiki, I don't think masturbating is in your department just yet." Joshua told her. She nodded lightly, seeming drained of any life left. "But that doesn't mean your hands aren't asclean as Mr. Touch-Myself-All-Night-Long." He motioned to Neku.

By now, Mr. H had been doing his best to get all of his remaining customers to leave.

"What I mean is, Shiki, you're a seamstress." Joshua explained. She nodded, a bit more pride with her passion mentioned. "And to get just the right custom fit, Shiki, you've got to get all the right measurements from your client, am I wrong?"

"No no! In fact, that's exactly what I do!" Shiki exclaimed happily, mostly because the Composer hadn't publicly disgraced her yet.

"Oh ho ho, really now?" Joshua said. Instantly, Shiki regretted even coming to the cafe today. "I mean, you must be happy, feeling people of all sizes almost every day, right? I wonder does any of that pleasure holding Eri in places the designer would only let her _seamstress_ touch get washed away?"

Shiki seemed close to tears. "I...Eri doesn't...we...I don't hold Eri like that!"

He practically burst into tears. "Really Shiki?! Then tell me, what ways _do_ you hold Eri?" Joshua gasped for breath as he pounded the table. "Aww, this is gold, scaring my Proxy's friends like this."

Shiki's lips quivered as Neku attempted to console her.

"Now, let's not forget you, Beat." He turned to the skater, who seemed very confident right now. "How do you wash your hair?"

Beat laughed. "Yo, screw usin' shampoo n' conditioner! Tha's crap for pansies!" He stood up with a fist in the air. "I only use mah bar a' soap!"

Joshua recoiled along with Rhyme. "Beat!" The younger Bito wailed. "We talked about this! That's not healthy or hygenic!"

Beat looked down to Rhyme. "Yo, sis, I don't think you in no position to be sayin' that."  
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**THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS  
THAT THE BITO FAMILY  
USES BAR SOAP FOR  
THEIR HAIR AND BODY

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